Today we are talking about marriage. My husband and I are in a lifegroup through our church called re-engage and it is enlightening! We are learning to stay in our circle in order to create more peace and kindess toward one another. Yes, we have our problems and if you other married couples say you don’t…well, let’s just admit it…you are not being truthful. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage or perfect couple.
This is my life
(What I want you to see anyway…)
The virtual world allows us to put on this great persona of what our lives are…or aren’t. When we do this, we are living a lie and trying to set an impossible standard for us to obtain and for those looking in from the outside. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because we think everyone is judging us. Please, they have their own worries! Get back to being real and raw, you gain people’s confidence that way and they are more apt to share with you. I don’t want to share my struggles and/or successes with someone who is not authentic! Ugh, why would I want to do that.
It is good to have someone that you can turn to in order to discuss the concerns, distractions, and successes in your life. My kids were such a pain today instead of Oh, Tommy was great and Sarah was such a helper. When really what you are sugar coating is that Tommy didn’t get grounded (so he was great) and Sarah picked up her clothes and put them away (after being told 10 times). Let’s get real people! Footprints on the sofa, spilled milk on the table, crumbs on the floor, dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, wet dogs running through the house, these things are real and they happen! Everyday! That’s what brooms and mops are for and timeouts and crates. My life is certainly not perfect and I am not pretending it is. So why should I pretend about my marriage.
Blessings in Marriage
My husband and I are really taking to our studies and trying to apply the things we are learning through God and our lifegroup. Putting God first is allowing all the other parts of our marriage to fall into place. Does it mean that eventually our marriage will be flawless? Of course not, marriage is something you have to work at everyday. And we will continue working everyday at it because that is what God wants us to do and because we want that for our family.
Marriage is not something you give up on, sure you can think it and say it in your head many times over, but it can’t be one-sided. You both must work at it and fight for the love you found in each other in the beginning. It won’t ever be kissy, kissy all the time, but as you get older you realize that the companionship of your best friend is the best gift God could have given you because that is what will be with you through the rest of your life. What better way to spend life than with the person that sits with you when you are sad, that makes you laugh, that you can share a good movie with…your best friend!
Ask couples that have been together for over 20 years and see if they say their marriage is or was ever perfect. I bet the answer is no and that they have to work at it everyday. So, keep God first in your marriage, see the good things in your spouse, stay in your circle and communicate kindly. These are some great ways to improve your marriage.